


Something's Missing, And It's You

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Christmas, Kinda, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-27 07:30:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2684453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn’t all of Liam and he wasn’t physically there but, y’know, if this is what he could get then he’d take it without hesitation. And, alright, his course is harder than he’d anticipated and he didn’t manage to make quite as many friends as he’d hoped but at the start Liam was there, so he’d survive.</p><p> </p><p>Or, best friends Louis and Liam lose contact within the first term of university, and when they run into each other during the Christmas holidays, Louis realises he's been in love this whole time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something's Missing, And It's You

**Author's Note:**

> This is all thanks to terrible, terrible tumblr asks leading to terrible lilo.  
>  
> 
> Standard Disclaimer: I don’t own One Direction. This work is entirely fictional and I would rather it was not shared with anybody portrayed in it, and all that other stuff.
> 
>  

Louis misses him so much. They started off texting every day, skype-ing every weekend and Louis thought he could get through this. It wasn’t all of Liam and he wasn’t physically there but, y’know, if this is what he could get then he’d take it without hesitation. And, alright, his course is harder than he’d anticipated and he didn’t manage to make quite as many friends as he’d hoped but at the start Liam was there, so he’d survive.

Only, really, as the term dragged on and Louis was piled with more and more essays and less and less time; the texts started to come few and far between. Instead of sitting down and having an immediate reply conversation it’d take a few hours for a reply to come through. Then a few days. Then a week. Then Louis felt like he should stop trying.

Maybe Liam was having fun at Surrey with all his new friends. Going out and getting wasted like Louis had imagined uni to be (which it turns out to not be, when you don’t make friends). Maybe Liam had even got himself a boyfriend.

And Louis doesn’t want to think about that. He doesn’t want that thought bouncing around in his head, torturing him. Not that he and Liam had ever been anything like that. They’d kissed enough times, hell, they’d slept together once, but they were never...

October slips by and eventually so does most of November, and Louis hasn’t heard much from Liam other than seeing the odd instagram photos of him at parties, smiling brightly, or tweets about his _need to get some1 to read ova my spellliiiiinggg ha_

Louis’ Christmas starts earlier than expected, and he couldn’t be more thankful. He’s missed his sisters and brother and his mum, and it’ll be nice to be back. Familiar. He dumps his bags in the hallway the moment he arrives back home in Doncaster and is piled on by about four girls who have grown too much for his liking since the last time he saw them. His mum pulls him in for a hug that lasts approximately a decade before she starts hammering him with questions.

He helps them put up the Christmas tree in front of the front window and is astounded the twins are more organised with decorating than he is.

He’s not even thinking about Liam that much anymore, honestly.

After a day or two settling back in, Jay sends him out to the town centre with a big list of ‘Top Secret Things Santa Needs Help Getting’ and with an eye roll and managing to shake a child or two from trying to tag along, he goes out.

It’s chilly and his nose gets cold and the wind decides to try and re-style his hair. Louis’ been to Argos and picked up teddy bear factory toys, he’s been to Boots and got some bloody expensive mascara Lottie _needed, Lou_ and he’s had time to poke around a little antique gift shop to look for something for his mum. His arms are starting to ache from the weight of the bags and he wishes he could rub his hands together to warm them up, but he can’t. He’s trying to figure out how to shift the bags and get one hand free to reach in his wallet and see if he has money for the bus fare when he practically walks straight into something. Or someone.

“Shit, sorry,”

Louis stomach physically flips.

“Louis?”

Louis looks up and, shit, oh my god, “Liam.”

“Oh my god,” Liam’s face breaks into a grin and he doesn’t hesitate before pulling Louis into a much-needed warm hug, “How’ve you been?”

“Good, good, yeah” Louis breathes, looking up and Liam and it actually hurts how attractive he’s gotten. And that's saying something because Liam's always resembled a beautiful god. There’s golden stubble on his jaw and his hair has grown out a bit and he’s wearing a stupidly hot leather jacket and a tartan print scarf around his neck. Louis wants to faint.

“How’s the uni life treating you?” Liam grins and it’s so bright and so beautiful and so _bewildering_.

Louis blinks and tries to get his heart rate to slow down. “You know, lot of essays, lot of hangovers,” he says, hoping Liam assumes that means lots of parties and not lots of sitting on his own in student halls with shitty Sainsbury’s vodka.

“God, me too,” Liam agrees and Louis’ face heats up, suddenly he’s not cold any more. “You busy right now?” he asks, “Have you got time for a coffee or something?”

Yes, yes, all the time in the world for you Louis thinks. “No, I – um, I’m sorry. I’ve gotta get back with these deliveries for Father Christmas, y’know,” he lifts his bags up in display, and shit, he hates himself.

“Oh, um, yeah of course,” Liam says, still smiling at Louis even though he turned him down, “can’t keep ol’ St Nick waiting. We’ll have to do it another time, yeah? Are you staying here the rest of the month? I miss you.”

Louis wants to cry because theres no fucking way Liam has missed him more than he’s missed Liam. “Yeah, I’m around,” he says quietly.

“Great!” Liam’s face lights up, “I’ll text you, yeah?”

“Alright, Payno,” Louis says, trying hard to fall back into old routine and pretend it’s not killing him. “I – I’ve got a bus to catch now anyway,” he tells him, “I’ll see you around?”

Liam nods giving Louis one quick hug and Louis never wants him to let go. Ever. He does. “Send my love to your mum and the kids, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Louis nods, ignoring the lump in his throat. “You too.”

“See ya, Lou!” Liam calls as Louis sets off across to the bus that’s waiting and Liam disappears back up the high street.

On the bus Louis puts dumps the bags on the chair next to him and slouches forward until his head hits the chair in front, squeezing his eyes shut.

His heart won’t stop beating and his chest won’t stop hurting.

He probably should’ve told Liam he missed him too, just then.

He reckons before he even left the first time at the beginning of term, he probably should’ve told Liam he loved him.

 

 

It’s getting dusky by the time he gets home, and he’s exhausted, dropping the bags off hidden in the cupboard in his mum’s room and leaving his coat and shoes flung across the hallway floor. Jay will later nag him about that but he doesn’t really care.

He wanders into the kitchen where the window has steamed up from the roast his mum’s cooking and the baby twins are sitting at the table in their high chairs, stabbing a piece of paper with crayons. Louis picks out a bright blue crayon and begins to sketch a smiley face onto the corner, until Doris gabbles at him and pushes his hand away giggling.

“Alright, bossy boots,” he laughs. “Careful or Santa won’t bring you presents.”

Of course, they’re too young to understand him but Jay tells him not to upset them anyway.

“Lou, come on, go watch telly with the girls,” she looks over her shoulder from where she’s opened the oven door to check on the chicken.

Louis lets out a melodramatic sigh, “Alright,” he agrees, walking next door and swiping the remote from where Fizzy had left it unguarded, flipping from Hollyoaks to football.

“Oi! Louis, you knob!” she squawks, tackling him to the sofa until he gives up possession of the remote.

He loves his family, he really does. God knows what he’d do without them.

Fiz triumphantly turns back to bloody Hollyoaks and Louis slumps into the sofa, admitting defeat, just as his phone pings with a new message.

_Heeeyy looou sorryy we couldn’t catch up 2day, r u free any time soon... tomrw may b ??   liam xxxxx :)_

Louis stares at his phone for a moment, having a mental argument with himself about whether to lie and pass it up again, before typing out a reply and pressing send before he has a chance to over think it.

_Sure  !!!!! what do u wanna do ! :) x_

His phone pings again and Fizzy turns the volume up on the telly with a sigh.

_U can come over mine ? Mum and dad r goin out latr but they’d luv 2 c u xxxxxxxxxxx_

It won’t be weird, he’s practically lived at Liam’s since year 7, it wouldn’t be weird to go and visit- just because this is the longest they’ve gone without seeing each other.

Ping. A second text comes through.

_Or we can go out for that coffee still? Or 2 the pub ?or u can jus come over? mayb both xxxxxx_

If he’s honest, he doesn’t really care what they’re doing he just wants to spend time with Liam again and for it not to be weird.

 _pub sounds good  !x_ he replies.

 

*

 

He gets there twenty minutes early, just because he can’t stop jittering around the house and he’s pretty sure it’s pissing his mum off. He orders a pint while he’s waiting, hands stuffed into the pockets of his denim jacket and staring at the football game on the telly above the bar.

The door swings open and every time it’s not Liam who comes through, until exactly half-six on the dot when he steps in with cheeks pink from the cold and a blinding smile when he sees Louis sitting there already.

“Lou!” he grins walking over to hug Louis tightly as he stands from his bar stool.

“You’re cold,” Louis mumbles into Liam’s chest, urging his own to stop fluttering.

Liam laughs and lets him go, sitting down on the next stool and ordering himself a drink. “Did I keep you waiting long?”

Almost three fucking months you beautiful bell-end, “No, no, I just got here,” Louis lies.

“Great,” Liam keeps looking at Louis so warmly that he forgets its -1°C outside. “How are you liking Leicester?”

“It’s.. good.” Louis says into his pint glass. “Y’know, lot of work. Lots to do.”

“You’re not getting _too_ drunk are you, Lou?” Liam jokes with a cheeky elbow at Louis’ arm and Louis smiles.

“It’s all under control, Mother Payno, don’t you worry,” Louis quips.

“Haven’t managed to trash your dorm yet with any parties you’ve hosted? Like you were planning on?” Liam continues and Louis doesn’t want to be a part of this conversation. He hasn’t done anything other than go to other people’s events and get unreasonably sad when he sees any boy vaguely resembling Liam.

“Not yet, no,” Louis tells him, “There’s still time.”

“You will have to invite me, yeah? I’ll drive across the country for you.”

Louis feels really ill. Fuck, he loves Liam so much.

“Can’t go around missing my Liam, now, can I?” Louis says with a laugh that he hopes doesn’t sound as forced as it did in his head.

 

Three hours and many, _many_ drinks later Louis attempts to stand up. He’d thought drinking twice as much as Liam would help dull down his stupid feelings but all its managed to do is bring them to his attention more. Now he just wants to melt into Liam.

“Woah, woah,” Liam says catching him, and he’s not exactly sober either.

“Thanks,” Louis smiles up at him and Liam doesn’t let go, looking down at him with his eyebrows drawn together like an adorable concerned golden retriever.

“Do you want to come back to mine? Catch the second half of the footy?” Liam asks and Louis nods, leaning into him. Liam is warm and solid and lovely. So so lovely.

They hold onto each other as they manoeuvre outside, the street mostly quiet as is standard on a Tuesday evening. It’s only a few steps up the road to Liam’s, and Louis could probably walk there in his sleep. In fact, he has walked there half asleep in the middle of the night when they were younger- and almost smashed Liam’s bedroom window in with a rock, but that’s another story.

Still clinging on to each other, they make it through the front door, and neither of them is _that_ drunk but it’s nice to have someone warm to hold. Liam lets him go and Louis finds his way to the living room, flipping on the telly while Liam locks the door behind them.

It feels so much like home and so so weird he hasn’t been here in months. He’s missed being here almost as much as his own home.

Louis smiles up at Liam as he walks through the living room doorway, sitting himself down next to Louis and wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Louis’ stomach is physically hurting him with how badly he wants to be able to do this forever. How badly he wants Liam to just fucking love him back.

“I missed you too,” he says quietly, barely audible over the commentator on the football.

“What?” Liam shifts to look at him in confusion.

“I missed you too. I didn’t tell you when we bumped into each other in town.”

Liam laughs at him and rubs the side of his arm. “Numpty.”

Louis sighs trying unsuccessfully to shift the weight lodged in his chest. “Prom was fun wasn’t it?” he changes the subject eventually.

“It was indeed.” Liam rests his cheek on Louis’ hair.

“And results day. Harry’s party was sick.”

“Mhmm,” Liam hums and Louis’ not even sure if he remembers making out with Louis after too many cheap beers.

“I missed you.” Louis says again quietly. ‘Missed’ isn’t quite the verb he’s looking for, but he can’t say it, he can’t get the words out of his mouth.

There’s a beat before Liam repeats “Missed you more,” and Louis feels like he’s going to burst into tears.

“Fuck, Liam, _no_ ,” he wiggles out from under Liam’s arm and ducks his head to his chest. “God, you can’t possibly have missed me _more,_ Liam. Fuck, I love you and I can’t breathe. You can’t have missed me more because I’m so fucking in love with you and I-”

He stops, breathing shallow and it takes all his will power to look up at Liam- who’s sitting there wide eyed, and silent.

“You.. how..” Liam starts but doesn’t managed to finish the sentence.

“I-” Louis has to duck his head again, he can’t make eye contact with him now, not with those beautiful brown eyes he’s missed so fucking much, “I- since like Year 12, I just, I’m sorry. I, fuck, I love you- I’m sorry.”

Liam opens and closes his mouth again, staring at Louis in disbelief and it makes the nerves churn in Louis’ belly. “You never told me?”

Louis shakes his head, “I’m so so sorry. I didn’t really think you’d appreciate declarations of love from _me_. I was going to tell you before you left, before term began, but it was too hard..”

“So even when you sent me that Valentines’ card? That was for real?”

Louis nods slowly.

“And even at prom...?”

Louis nods again.

“And when we...?”

“Slept together, yeah. I’m sorry, Liam, I really am.”

Louis goes to move, get up and get his shoes and go home. Not leave home until the breaks over and he doesn’t have to see Liam again. He can get over it.

“I love you.”

Louis freezes. “What?”

“I didn’t say I love you back...” Liam begins as if that makes any sense at all.

“Liam.. you don’t have to...”

“I love you so bloody much, Louis, and you-” he stops himself once again, looking as if he’s struggling to find any words at all.

It’s hurting Louis’ heart, like there’s shards of broken glass rattling around, and he shakes his head as if to shut Liam up when two large, warm hands cup his cheeks and pull him down, crashing against Liam’s mouth.

And just like that the shards dissipate.

It takes a split second before Louis gives into it, holding onto Liam’s shoulders and just letting himself be kissed. Letting Liam push his hair off his face and pull him closer by the small of his back. He sighs into it, and Liam’s so soft in opening Louis’ mouth and kissing him like he’s trying to say, something, trying to prove something. Louis ends up with his back against the arm of the chair and blinks his eyes open to look at Liam.

“Do you really..?” he mumbles against Liam’s jaw.

“God, yes. Idiot.” Liam breathes out with a laugh and has Louis smiling into the kiss and smiling up at Liam for the rest of the evening.

He’s missed him so much.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
